“I wish I could just be myself without overthinking it.”

You wouldn’t think being yourself would be this complicated.

And yet—before you even open your mouth, you’re already calculating tone, audience, consequences. You rehearse before you speak. You re-edit after. And you second-guess for the next 48 hours.

You’re not necessarily pretending. You’re just never fully relaxed. Not even with yourself.

This kind of mental editing isn’t just social anxiety or shyness. It’s the byproduct of years spent being “smart” about survival: Reading rooms. Avoiding judgment. Smoothing edges.

But now you’re not in danger. And it’s exhausting to keep adjusting for an audience that might not even be watching.

You probably don’t even know who “yourself” is anymore, because every move you make goes through a filter first.

Will this sound weird?

Do I sound ridiculous? Is this too much? Will they still like me?

Over time, you get so good at editing yourself, you forget you were ever writing the first draft.

And at some point, that doesn’t just happen in rooms with other people. You do it alone, too. You’ve learned it’s safer not to be too visible, too raw, too real.

You are overthinking your own thoughts. You are questioning your own feelings. You are curating yourself to an imaginary audience in your own head. But you never get the applause.

When you grow up constantly managing how you’re perceived by parents, teachers, peers, and strangers, your body learns that authenticity comes with consequences. It’s a brilliant adaptation that’s overstayed its welcome . But when you try to “just be yourself,” you can’t even hear who that is anymore.

Something that might actually help:

Don’t try to be yourself all the time.

Start with one moment a day. One conversation where you don’t filter the joke. One idea you don’t clean up. One yes or no that comes straight from your gut.

Then notice what happens.

Not what they think— what you feel .

Because it’s something that returns the moment you stop bracing.

You’ll probably feel awkward, clunky, and exposed. That’s your real voice stretching its legs.

And if you’re creative? This gets a bit trickier. Because “being yourself” now includes what you make. And when your brain is tangled in the approval loop, even your ideas start wearing masks.

So, for today? Make something unremarkable. On purpose. Something silly, ugly, unfinished. Then hide it in a drawer—not because it’s shameful, but because it’s yours. And here is the fun twist: When you let go of performing, you might just create something brilliant. Hide this one too! This is just for you, don't fall into the next trap of having to deliver that level all the time. Resist showing it and keep it in your heart till creating feels again a more natural part of yourself, just because.

And if that made you breathe easier? The Muse is your place. A monthly space to un-perform, un-perfect, and make things that feel like home.

And inside Renaissance Of The Soul, we unhook the original wire that made overthinking feel necessary in the first place. Watch the free workshop to get an idea.